On Being a Guardian of Childhood
Welcome to Let 'em go Barefoot’s first newsletter on Substack!
It humbles me to see the growth in interest in self-directed education, unschooling, and peaceful parenting. To know that more and more people are looking outside of coercive schooling and punitive parenting systems for better ways to connect with, educate, and raise children gives me hope and energizes me to keep researching, writing, and sharing.
Through my various roles working with children and families over three decades, as well as being a mom of two, I have come to think of those who advocate for children as guardians of childhood. Simply put, these are people who strive to create a world where childhood is understood, respected, and protected.
On the protection side, this does not mean we bubble wrap our kids physically or mentally, nor does it mean we practice a complete hands-off approach. Instead, we recognize that children are born to parents for a reason and that childhood is a unique time filled with exponential growth and development that deserves special consideration and action.
Since children come into this world vulnerable and incapable of surviving without caregivers, our role out the gate is to ensure their safety. While much of this early time is devoted to basic needs, we naturally pull back our assistance as our children’s ability to do more physically increases. However, when it comes to emotional development and decision-making, our support and guidance continues well into the teen years. Neuroscience has shown us that the prefrontal cortex, the area of the brain responsible for planning, critical thinking, and impulse control, to name a few, continues to develop well into the twenties!
By using the findings of neuroscience we better understand how the brain develops. This in turn helps us create environments that are developmentally appropriate for our growing children and allows us to see why various guardrails and supports are needed in relation to their decision making, impulse control, critical thinking, and long-term consequences of their momentary actions.
When we, as parents and educators, take all this into consideration and apply it, we can be confident that our respect for childhood as the hugely influential and foundational season it is securely bridged our children to adulthood.
Actions of childhood guardians:
Take stock of your own childhood. Make note of what worked and what did not work. Consider if you are bringing forward any patterns or behaviors that are not serving your children well. Determine if you need to alter or change the script you have been given about what childhood is all about.
Recognize that children are not “little adults” and instead need very specific care and guidance during this unique developmental time.
Stay curious and intentional. Maintain a willingness to keep learning and retool when things are not working.
Be an example. The best way to protect childhood is to live your values. Treat your own children with reverence and lead with integrity and emotional maturity. Others will notice and the ripple effect is real.
Volunteer, donate, speak up, and support causes or organizations that raise the bar on protecting childhood.
Last, but not least, include your children as partners on this experience called life. As Dr. Ross Greene says:
"Solving problems together?
Yes, indeed. You and your child are going to be allies, not adversaries.
Partners, not enemies."